Hospitality, part 2

Would you believe, my last post was started because I got a hankering for a casserole? A delicious concoction from the church potlucks of my youth...a simply fantastical blend of creaminess, mixed veggies, water chestnuts, cheese, and french fried onions. MMMMmmmMMMMmm. I will be buying thingredients during tomorrow's shopping trip, as I am really hankering for some comfort food....

But I digress....

My last post, on the dearth of old-school church ladies. where they've gone, why, and lamenting the lack of older women who can train up we younger ladies who aspire to church lady greatness, all started for want of a recipe. A recipe, as I said above, that I loved to eat, at every church potluck it made an appearance. I couldn't find it. I looked online, I looked in the church cookbook I got as a wedding gift. I looked all over the place. I finally put out a plea for help, on a message board I belong to, which apparently is where all of the good casserole recipes have gone to 'hide', til a more interested generation rears its head. And there I was blessed to find it, in a couple of versions...

Regardless of why it was hiding there, I wanted to know why I never saw such things anymore. Once upon a time, a woman would have been ASHAMED to bring store bought food to a potluck. No woman worthy of the term lady, would have swung through KFC and picked up a bucket of chicken and proudly placed it on the table at church. I cannot think of a single one of the women I looked up to in my youth, who would have stooped to grabbing a tub of potato salad from the grocery store's deli department for a church social, dropping it on one of the tables covered in fabric tablecloths, and considering her contribution to the festivities "enough"....why is it, that now, we think we "don't have the time" or "can't be bothered" to actually provide something from our own kitchen? It certainly isn't less expensive, or better for us or the ones we love. And it isn't as if it must be cooked that morning, for the most part. Most things reheat quite well, actually, or stay nicely chilled, and can therefore be made ahead....

I think it goes back to the demands that serving another 'master' puts upon us. When we women are at home, we don't just cook, we prepare a meal. We master recipes, skills, and develop a repetoire of family favorites, that over time, become honed to the point where we could almost make them in our sleep (like my biscuits). We feed the souls as well as the bodies of our families...if we are not home, if our times to eat together as a family, are stressed, brief, rare, when do we take the time to really work on a recipe? When do we spend an afternoon, working on a meal that will really feed the eyes, the nose, the very hearts and souls, of our families--not just the bellies?

When women are not at home, they are not spending that time in the kitchen. They are not finding their way around pie pastry, or biscuits, or fried chicken...they are not putting themselves into their food. It is simpler to grab something at the store, and plop it onto plates directly from the plastic serving containers, missing a valuable opportunity to raise what is usually just an "eat and run" time, to something higher, something better...you lose that intangible 'something', that only time and patience will bring to the fore, when it comes to family meal-times...

So, now, we have generations of women who don't know how to cook, or do so poorly. Who regard being a good cook as something negligible, never realizing what it says about them and their view of womanhood. And they, honestly, seem to disdain the women who take the time to cook a meal well...instead of grabbing the ready made "convenience" foods or snagging something from the plethora of pre-packaged frozen foods.

I know, there are women who are not by nature great cooks. I'm not saying we all are gifted with great cooking skills by nature. Sometimes, it is something that must be practiced. And honestly, some times, it never comes, even with practice. I have one friend, who is not the best cook, in general. She can bake some wonderfulllll pies, though. Her husband, on the other hand, is a man who delights in good food. Fortunately, he enjoys cooking, and so she bakes the pies, and he cooks everything else...she, on the other hand, is far more suited to dismantling the engine of her motor bike, fixing the washing machine, and roller skating and skateboarding with her teenagers (and breaking bones in the process, but that is a whole 'nother story, lol). Regardless, their home is a welcoming place, for their grown children, their youngest child (a grade-schooler), and everyone in between. It is, despite its apparent irregularities, a *real* home. Not just a place to store one's things. Friends both far and near are welcomed there, and great thought is given to making the most of such occasions.

That all being said, in general, it *is* the woman of the house, who is the chief cook and bottle washer--and you know I mean that with no disrespect, for 'the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world'. Being the 'woman of the house' (ah, flashbacks to watching "The Quiet Man" :-) ), brings not only a certain amount of labor and duty, but also a great amount of privilege, more than any misguided misogynistic, so-called 'feminist' would believe. Look at a great many of the suffragettes--they didn't want all of the nonsense that the modern day feminists would have you think. Indeed, all they wanted, was the right to vote, and to be respected, and treated, as full citizens of this country. They had no interest in being pushed off of their pedestals, for who would want to go from being the much-beloved queen of an albeit tiny realm, to being a deposed monarch, forced from their kingdom, into an exile of who knows what duration?

Hospitality was once an art form. Look at old newspapers--they speak of a family in the local burg having guests from out of town, what was served, how long the guests stayed, etc. Even older newspapers, will speak of special local evenings, socials and the like, detailing the singing, and dancing, the clothes of some of the attendees, and so forth. Today, we regard get-togethers like that as 'old fashioned' and 'quaint', but far beneath what 'we' as a society are expected to provide our guests. Today we have people over to watch televised sports games, with little real interaction between any of the viewers, just between each individual viewer and the television announcer...I don't see how the television evening is a better occasion of hospitality at all, as a rule. Let's see...no one 'does' anything except put some appetizers on a plate, and then turn on an oversized television. Hm. As opposed to an event that was likely planned for a while, arranging for those coming to bring along a musical instrument, or memorize something to recite, etc....and of course, food must be prepared, the house thoroughly scrubbed...there is a place for musical evenings, or game nights, and television special events...but the key thing, is remembering that social evenings are meant to be social. Not to be 'a bunch of people sitting in a room staring at a screen'--I will go to the movies at the theater if I want to do that! No, being social is about so much more than simply being together...

But how does one quantify a truly social, successful occasion? If the food is good, but the company poor, or vice-versa, how does it rate? I'd suggest that better the food be poor than the company--food, in and of itself, can be done away with, but how is one to be politely sociable, much less, enjoy one's self, when surrounded by bores, poor conversationalists, and people one would generally rather not spend the time of day with? It certainly doesn't bode well for a succesful event! Perhaps, by making sure of a certain amount of personality, with a variety of interests, and yet some that intersect, would be a wise idea. Making certain to allow for a good range of ages and experiences, but also, being sure to invite those who will make the evening a positive one (and I believe we all understand that while there are some people who need help to become socially adept, there are some no matter of assistance will end up helping--invite the former, not the latter!). It can actually be an easy way to help the socially inept get a little practice in a smaller circle, where they may pick up skills and polish others, gaining experience and a bit of surety in themselves, as they go along.

Part of having a good time, is making sure that things are properly prepared for, in advance of the arrival of guests. Whether it be cleaning the home, or food preparation, getting some form of entertainment arranged for, be it music, or games, or simply conversation (so one would read up on news and interesting ideas that might be of interest to one's guests beforehand)--proper prior planning prevents pretty poor performance (a slight change from the 7Ps of my darling husband's Army days). In truth, I find it necessary to spread my preparations out over several days leading up to any planned for visitor or guest arriving, especially for something more involved than a simple meal and conversation. It has taken some time, but I think I've finally figured out why that works so well for my family...

One thing I have told my children, is that we clean and prepare our home for guests, to show our respect for them, and the fact that they are gracing our home with their presence. It doesn't matter whether this guest is visiting every other Monday night, or if they come once a year, we clean our home as thoroughly as possible, make sure that the tablecloth is particularly clean and neat, and try our best to put the family's best foot forward, as a united front. It does not matter whether the guest is a new neighbor, an old friend, or a close relative, the issue is respect. Certainly, preparations for one, may be different than for another, but nonetheless, preparing for their visit, is a more visible indication of love and respect than simply going on about every day life up til the minute they pull into the driveway. While we try to maintain a certain level of cleanliness and preparedness for guests who might unexpectedly appear at our doorstep, I also know that I prefer to make special touches before anyone arrives--even a fresh hand towel and a check on supplies in bathrooms makes me feel massively more at ease, than if someone just 'pops in' and I'm totally unprepared. I feel as if I am showing some minor level of disrespect, that my home is not better prepared for guests (with five children under the age of 10, I'm doing well to keep things as clean and tidy as I do, I believe. Anything beyond that, is 'gravy'!).

I suppose, in a sense, that that is something that gets overlooked. Hospitality as respect. Indeed, do we feel respected, when we are invited to someone's home, and show up to find that their home is messy, dirty, and there isn't anything to eat or drink? Do we feel as if they want us there? Do we feel truly welcomed, or as if our presence is a burden and an afterthought?

I am not suggesting that we pull out the best silver and china for every guest who walks in the door, every time. Indeed, using one's grandmother's antique Limoges might be a bad idea for a barbeque for Independence Day, or for a raucous party for the adolescents in one's circle. But there are steps one can take, to make one's guests feel at home, and welcomed, and yes, respected, when they come over for an afternoon, evening, or even longer visit in your home...

It seems, however, that we see hospitality at one extreme or the other--beef tenderloin and heirloom china, or television and some chips and dip. While both certainly have their place, there is a middle ground, which we can all aspire to...and it isn't that hard...

But how do we learn? We all weren't blessed to have mothers who trained us well, unfortunately, as the case may be. Indeed, some women are working with a severe handicap, in that their efforts towards the traditionally feminine skills of hospitality, and domestic endeavors, have been denounced, derided, and denigrated (got to love those negative D words). Sometimes by their mothers and fathers. Sometimes by their spouses. Sometimes, by their friends or the public at large.

Indeed, when I was in high school, and I informed my Advanced Placement US History teacher, that I "wanted to be the best wife and mother I could be", over and beyond any 'career' outside of the home..I was laughed at, quite derisively, and informed that that would not be enough for a mind like mine. Sadly, she is the mother of two. I wonder what perspective her grown children have now, and whether they share their mother's thoughts on the subject, as they are married and have children of their own. At the time, I was not as sure of myself, and my dreams and goals for my life, as I am now. And being raised to be polite, I was not going to argue with my teacher (whom I very much liked and enjoyed learning from). But this was in 1990-91, and I assure you, it has not gotten any better, anywhere over the years, except that now, one can find moral support online. While I am better able, by far, to voice my opinions and beliefs, I find few to hear them (mostly because I am at home 95% of the time, which is as it should be). Of course, the flip side of that, is that I have to argue the point less, because there are fewer people arguing against me--at least, in person.

But it also makes finding someone to instruct you on how to become one of those venerable "church ladies", HARD, let me tell you. They are simply not out there. Or if they are, they are doing one of two things--hiding, or being terribly over-worked because they have been found out. It used to be, each church had a number of these sorts of women. Most--if not all--of the women were at home, and could be counted on to help split the work load. Now, there are so few, even amongst the older set. Some even admit that they want no part of it, for all that they are retired and at home most of the time. They "have better ways to spend their time". I would argue that point, obviously. But they hang up, before you can get the chance to do so!

Admittedly, I am in no position right now, to become *the* church lady for my parish. Far from it--this is that season in life where my skills need to be more focused on home and hearth. With five small children, God willing more to come, my time away from home is...infrequent. Yes, I could take the children and visit shut ins, or a nursing home, and it is something I have considered for when my twins are a bit older (twin two year old boys being something of a challenge in even the most amenable of surroundings, I am reluctant to start taking them places where control of the enviroment is a toss-up). But this is a time for me to be an understudy of sorts, in an apprenticeship. It is a season for being taken 'under the wing' of an older woman well-studied in the ways and means of our local parish, and given time to grow into the role of "Church Lady". But instead it appears that there are no wings to take shelter under, and indeed, it seems as if I will be thrust from the nest before fully fledged, and forced to fly or fall.

And so, since I cannot find someone to teach me, I must learn on my own, as must so many in today's world. The question remains, how do I learn it? Where do I get these skills, that I would love to learn? Some things must, in truth, be learned hands-on, in the trenches, but sometimes, one can "scale down", and learn something incrementally...gradually working up to tackling the entire project. I read the blogs, I get recipes, and I invite people over. They all seem to have a nice time, I've never had people refuse to come back (especially if I lure them over with my cream cheese pound cake!). But I want to learn MORE. I want to grow into that Church Lady role, gently, and not with force and violence, as being tossed out onto the wind seems to be...

Where do you find your knowledge? In old books of generations gone by? So much of what they expected a young woman to know back then, is simply novel and uncharted territory for women of all ages now. I've found that to be a draw back, in that method. In general, with the potential information available online now, I've found the internet to be a decent resource. But it does not take the place of having an older, work-worn hand to guide you...

Have any of you been blessed to be taught by one of those venerable women? Are any of *you* the "Church Lady" of your congregation? Have you ever been? Wanted to be? Felt like trying, but were concerned you would fall short for one reason or another? I know how you feel, believe me. I think, however, I am going to simply start a campaign...maybe more like guerilla warfare...no...a 'top secret' intelligence gathering mission, a la the Cold War....sneak and peak in 'enemy territory'....go where they don't want me to go, and see what they don't want me to see. Hunt out the Church Ladies of old, and see what secrets they can teach me. It is going to be interesting, seeing as how we have one car, live a goodly distance from town, and are new around here. But I *want* to find this elusive matriarch of the church committees. And so, I think I shall set out...make a mission, to try, in 2010, to find one of these women...and see if I can get her to impart her knowledge to me...

Wish me luck, I think I'll need it!

A ramble on hospitality, Church Ladies, and feminist claptrap

Another Thanksgiving has come and gone, and I still await the "Table of Doom", as I refer to it. El Husbando has been gifted with the boards he needs to make our family the most enormous, substantial, "family sized" table one can imagine (okay. Maybe the Duggars can imagine a bigger one, :-) ). Sixty to eighty year old heart of pine boards--once floor boards in a WWII era warehouse on a military post. Most of them are well over twelve feet long, and will make for a beautiful, long!, and wide (oh joy of joys!) table for our family. God willing, it will also have the worlds thickest table legs (I want the "thunder thighs" models, tyvm!). Solid and super thick, so that no ambitious 9 yr old boy is going to be able to kick the leg out from under the table when a large roast (or lasagna) is sitting on the table waiting to be consumed...yes, I have heard of this happening...and I don't want it to happen here (ever, would be preferred, but certainly not until after we replace the flooring in the dining room!).

But one thing this table will mean, is that we will have a greater capability for inviting guests over. Now, we barely have room round the table for the seven of us. It is a tight fit, to be sure. And that is with the extension. But hospitality is something we weren't overly able to extend before our move to the wild West, and so now we are trying to make a greater effort to do so....it may not be fancy, but there will be food, and fellowship, aplenty, to offer.

That brings to mind something that has been on my mind lately....

Where did the church ladies go? You know the ones I mean. The ones who always answered the "casserole call" (fortunately, they were usually the best ones at making the casseroles, too). The ones who chaired the Meals Committee--for after deaths in the family, or after a new baby was welcomed...they were the ones who decided which letters of the alphabet would bring which dish type for the church socials...you know--A-F brings a main course, G-L brings a side, and M-Z brings a dessert. LOL. They frequently had a smile, and a welcoming spirit for the new members of the congregation. They'd know all the little children in the church, and frequently were one of the first outside of the family to see wee babies newly home from the hospital...when they stopped to deliver the casseroles for the freezer, you know ;-).

Where have they gone? These elusive women...whose club I desperately wanted to join, as a girl growing up. I wanted to be Mrs P, or Mrs C, or Mrs S. Actually, they were more correctly known by Mrs Wallace P or Mrs Robert C or Mrs William S. Yes, they went by their husbands names in most things--oh, one-on-one, they were Sue and Jean and Mary. But they were the kind of women I wanted to be when I grew up. With normal, happy, grown children, having families of their own, a husband who loved me, and the desire/ability to extend hospitality to others in the church and the community. I wouldn't mind being known as Mrs El Husbando's First/Last Name. I rather like it...those who know me well enough, would get the (privilege?) of calling me by my first name...a formality I know that has been long discarded, but I miss it, I'll admit...

Where are these women? Are there any left? Is there anyone taking their place? Having left the church of my childhood, and reconciling myself to the Catholic Church, it seems odd to me--I don't see those women, anywhere, anymore. Unfortunately, I am in a season of my own life where hospitality will mostly have to take place here in my home. I am simply not able to stretch myself, and my family, to something larger than ourselves, right now. But I wonder, how will I learn what I need to know from these women, if there are none left? Who will tell me where they hid the doggone platters after the last church social? Who gives the parish the best price on large quantities of things, when it comes time for the big fund-raisers?

I so wanted to be one of "them", that I am the proud owner of not one...not two...but THREE punchbowls. Yes, ladies. THREE. Two of them, complete with cups (which I buy more of when I find them in the thrift stores, lol). One of those, even has the matching 'stand' which lifts it up off of the table top...I lucked into that set for $5!!! I couldn't believe it myself, and could scarcely stop myself from doing the happy dance all the way back to the van! :-) I have an entire cabinet full of platters of various sizes. Nothing makes me quite as happy, as a huge table laden down with food, a house full of people, and many of my platters and serving pieces being used. I even got my wedding dinnerware in white, so I could mix and match various dishes, all in white, or use the white to 'play off' when having large numbers of company in...

I would *love* to find one of those fabled "church ladies"...who not only knows how to set up a good potluck, but also knows how to do all of those lovely crafty things I yearn to learn how to do--but don't have anyone who can teach me, in person (a you-tube tutorial only goes so far, you know). A woman who has the patience to put up with me and my brood of sometimes unruly children, and the wisdom to see how she can help...either with advice born of years of experience, or simply grabbing a two year old and reading him a story...Someone, who could fill the gap left by one grandmother being far away (we're in Oklahoma, and my parents are in Georgia), and the other grandmother being dead for more than 25 years now...

Where are these women, these models of Christian hospitality? Where are the Titus 2 women, the older generation helping train the younger? It is frustrating for me--and for others, I know, when we look to our mother's generation, and realize that not only are they not there, but that if they were, they either wouldn't have the skills, or they would denigrate our desire to learn them...

I've had women my mother's age comment negatively on my decisions to dress in a more feminine, modest fashion, and to veil myself when in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament (or when receiving sacraments at all). I have my decision to marry young and leave college unfinished denigrated, El Husbando's and my decision to leave ourselves open to the unqualified blessing of children, spat upon as if we were stupid fools to even think about such a thing...and to think of educating our children, not just in our day-to-day life's activities, but to actually teach them math, and how to read, and write...well, that's just unheard of--ridiculous! And when I dare to suggest that parents are (as scripture tells us, and the Church backs up) the primary educators of their children, in *all* things, especially matters of faith and morals, well, that really gets the hackles up...

It is heartbreaking to realize that *these* are the women who we are supposed to turn to train my generation in how to be a Proverbs 31 woman...that *these* women are the ones who are supposed to be the women Titus 2 speaks of. And yet...what do we have?

This is not a Catholic phenomenon, by any means. Look around your local Baptist, Lutheran, Wesleyan, Methodist, Presbyterian, or Non-Denominational congregation on a Sunday morning...I daresay, if we did a poll, many or most of them would agree with the more negative stances I mentioned above....

Why is this? I suspect that there are a few reasons, overall. The somewhat "calculated" drive to get women out of the home, denigrate those who stay there, and push the "you *must* have two incomes to survive, much less prosper these days" line of thought...the women's movements have also made some serious problems for more traditional womanhood. The "you can have it all" mindset has done incalculable damage to the status of the woman as manager, guard, and director of her home....

Once a queen of her own small realm, now many women are merely a drudge, a serf, a slave of her own making...following after the endless, unending siren call of the latest and greatest gizmo or gadget...the latest "must have" fad of the year or season. Listening to the comments of the crowds, falling for the lines, and leaving her home, her family, behind....

Now, while I understand that there will be times, and situations, where a given woman MUST simply work or starve...they are far fewer and farther between than many of us think. Most, if not all, people *can* live on one income. If enough people stepped off the merry-go-round that is our consumerist, materialistic society, we could rock this boat. If the women said "no more!"...if the husbands and fathers said "Come home! We need you here!"...if the women left their jobs...and made their way back down the paths to their homes...if they learned to embrace the foreign-ness of the life of the SAHW/M...there would be more demand for our men in the workplace. There would be more need for the qualified man, and it would lead to greater pay. If people simply stopped buying over-priced, and soon out-of-style items, and stuck with what they had for a season or three, then the stores would have to lower their prices...markets would shift...

It would be earth-shattering. It would be life-changing. It would tilt the economies of the nations back to the place they need to be--something more sustainable, something less transitory...something built on a solid, sturdy foundation. Instead of building on a mandatory two-income family, build on a single wage earner. Maybe by changing our own mind-sets. Maybe by shifting our own world views back to a simpler time...when families either worked side by side, or father might have to leave the home during the day for work, but came home at night, to a warm fireside, a clean family gathered round him, grateful for his labors, and glad to have him home once more...

It isn't easy, by any means. But without bringing the women home, there won't be any more church ladies. Without cutting our debt loads, without denying ourselves some of the "luxuries" of life, without changing ourselves, first, we cannot change the culture. Think of what you can do, instead of what you canNOT do, since you are a SAHW/M.

Can you sew? Can you knit? Can you cook a mean pie? Do you sing? Do you play a musical instrument? Are you just a nice person to be around (okay, that one is subjective, lol)? Those are gifts, that can be used not only as a hobby for your own personal enjoyment...but can be shared with others. Sew up baby blankets for a basket to go to new mothers. Knit blankets for wounded soldiers, for children removed from their homes (Project Linus), for the mothers sheltering at the unwed mother's homes...for the crisis pregnancy centers...for the elderly shut-ins...

Cook up one of those pies, and take it to a neighbor, a church member, or just put it into the freezer until you can talk to your pastor/minister/priest about which congregant shut-in needs a visitor. And visit! Take the pie then. Share it.

If you sing, share it...If you play a musical instrument, and have one at home you can play, maybe consider a musical evening, and invite those you know are likewise inclined, as well as a few who may not be as talented, but make up for it by dint of their personalities...and maybe they'll bring a pie or two to share...

Hospitality doesn't have to be difficult, but if one can practice on a small scale, perhaps we can revive the ancient, honorable, position of "Church Lady". Perhaps we can be a modern day Dorcas. Perhaps Tabitha, Priscilla, and the other venerable sisters in Christ have more to offer us than merely being more biblical names to use for our baby girls. See them as an example. Open your homes, even if only a small scale, to friends and family. Especially for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere (Hi Therese, down there in your Aussie Coffee Shop!), this is a time of social gatherings, warm fires, cider, and 'dessert evenings'. Maybe plan a social evening that is something new. Invite some people you don't normally have over. Something different...maybe have everyone bring a different board game, and play them. Maybe have another couple or two over, and play bridge, or gin rummy, or *something*. Every couple bring a dish, and potluck dinner, and have a nice, family oriented evening...

Hospitality doesn't have to wait til Christmas. It doesn't depend on the ball schedule. It doesn't depend on tax season, or summer vacation, or fall/spring break. It just depends on each of us, welcoming someone into our home. Reaching out, and saying "Welcome, why don't you stop and stay for a while...warm yourself by the fire, and here, have a cup of cider/tea/coffee/water". It doesn't have to be fancy, or expensive, or difficult. But you just have to do it.

Or it will never happen. The shut in won't have a visitor...the wounded won't have their blankets. You won't get to know that really great couple in the pew across the way, and won't be there, when they need that serious prayer support--because you won't know they need it, and they'll be too hesitant to ask. The college student will spend their time in the dorms, or the bars, without a better alternative, when they are far from home.

We don't build a community, by staying at home, locked behind closed doors. We don't start knitting a 'safety net', however small, by staying cocooned in our little nests.

Don't be an island. Be a part of that net. Become a part of your community. Reach out, and find one person...one couple...one family. And start knitting that net. Start building--or rebuilding--your community.

Do it today. Start thinking about what you can do, this week, this month, the rest of this year...and do it. Make it happen.

Because change has to start somewhere. And it may as well start with us....

Please contact your legislators...

I realize that their offices are closed for the holiday. But if you could please, email or write your federal level legislators, I am sure that we could get this nonsense stopped!

I just heard, of the Navy SEALs, who are being court-martialed because a terrorist they apprehended claims that they punched him in the stomach (he also ended up with a bloody lip). Now, this is not your average, run of the mill, IED placing terrorist. No, he's the one behind the capture, torture, and MURDER of civilian contractors...

Now, these men are out doing their jobs. They find this...specimen of humanity...capture him. And in the process, he gets a punch to the stomach. Frankly, if that was all he got, well, GOOD FOR THE SEALS!!!! He's lucky *I* wasn't the one running that op--he'd have been lucky to make it into custody. I realize that murder is wrong. I realize that as a Christian, I am supposed to let God do the judging. But there are some times, ladies and gentlemen, that I revert back to my more primal, "remove this scumbag from the number of the living", instincts.

The fact that these sailors were doing their job as Special Forces operators. They captured the man alive, and brought him in. And all the Iraqis do is complain because he was punched in the stomach? I am so livid right now...

We have friends over there now--civilian contractors. We have many many friends who are still in the armed forces. El Husbando served, as did my father, great-uncles, and grandfather. I am so angry, that I am almost incapable of coming into words fit for public consumption....

Please write/contact your leglislators, House and Senate. Here is a link for finding your state's representatives...

http://www.house.gov/house/MemberWWW_by_State.shtml#ok

and here is one for the Senate:

http://www.senate.gov/general/contact_information/senators_cfm.cfm

I've already emailed mine, and plan on calling on Monday. I want them to intervene, and insist this idiocy be stopped. First we're giving these criminals rights of American citizens, bringing them to NYC for trial, as if they were simple burglars...letting them air their 'reasons' in open court--as if there is a reason for murderous behavior. NO. Enough is enough!

It is as if the "powers that be" keep pushing and pushing and pushing. This administration has made no friends of the military, and this sort of behavior is something that only adds to the pile in their disfavor. Between the dithering on the troop increase--if there is even one--to Afghanistan...the lack of proper behavior towards the terrorist (yes, I said it) attack at Ft Hood...the comments that soldiers 'are a good photo op'...this administration is full of cowards. It is near treason, what they are doing to our men and women in uniform. What they are doing to our citizenry, whether they are military or not, by bringing those terrorists from Guantanamo Bay, to NYC for trial.

Contact your Senators and Representatives, and let them know you want these court-martials, dropped. Period. They *can* put pressure on the defense department. They *can* do something about it, don't accept the "well, we let them handle their own affairs". Sorry, this is a citizen led military, and they get their budgets via the legislature. We *can* tell them what to do, and we *can* tell them to quit the PC pandering to the leftists who want to hamstring our military, who would just dearly love to 'make friends' with these terrorists who want us dead. We *can* let our opinions be known, and we'd better get on the horn, and start letting them hear allllll about it. We 'hire' these men and women to represent us, and in order to do that, they need to know what we want. So let them know!

Sorry for the rant. I'm just livid. These sailors should be taken off the docket for court-martial. Shoot, this shouldn't even show up in their records (except maybe as a commendation).

If you don't feel you can in all good honesty, contact your legislators, then please, pray for these men and their families. And for all of those who will suffer as a result of these actions by the military command structure and the executive branch of our government.

Thank you...

Pie pie and more pie

Homemade pumpkin...homemade apple...homemade pecan....homemade praline pumpkin (combine two of my favorites!). For 7 people. LOL. I think I need to invited a few people over, but everyone I call, is already gone for the holiday. LOL.

I've got things lined up for tomorrow---green beans a la El Husbandoare on the stove, cooking Southern style (in other words, with bacon, onion, black pepper, and a looong time, so that all the nutrition is cooked out of them, lol). Green bean casserole makings are on the kitchen counter...right next to the makings for sweet potato casserole. Turkey (in the fridge, thawed), an 11ish pounder. Don't need a huge one, since it is just us...stuffing (El Husbando prefers stove-top), mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce...gravy...and of course, more more more pie. I've got the whipping cream ready for tomorrow's whipped topping fiesta...the vanilla ice cream for the apple pie...

AGHHHHHHhh. My stomach already hurts. And I've not eaten a thing yet, lol.

I took the last pie out of the oven not long ago, and have it covered with the praline topping now. It looks sooooo good. I am very much looking forward to taking a bite of it...

Yes, I will take pictures. :-)

I considered making some deviled eggs, but to be honest, we've got so much food for just the seven of us, I don't wish to overload us with leftovers.

I ate a light (hurried) supper of reheated spaghetti this evening...the children had eaten long before, while I was getting pies into the oven so I could relax a wee bit this evening. I am going to try to brine the turkey this year, overnight. It sounds super easy, and super tasty, so I'm going to "try" it. Hopefully, it will work. LOL. I'll let you know.

I think the ice cream is calling me...the big question is, should it be more of the red raspberry sherbet, or brownie batter? Oh, so difficult a choice! (just a warm-up for tomorrow's pie dilemma!).

Regardless, God bless you all, may you have a Thanksgiving full of things to be thankful for...even in these times of economic hardship, we need to remember the old song, about counting our blessings....

"Count your blessings, count them one by one, count your blessings, see what God has done...."

Everything in life is a blessing. Even the strangest and most painful, discomfiting things...a blessing.

May you have many blessings, my friends, of the sort we are "glad" to count, this year....

Good news, then the bad...

Well, in the good news, my prize yesterday, was the "Faithful friends" Christmas stencil--I realized too late that the linky doesn't take you where it should! Drat! And I changed it--now it is coming in black and gold--the majority of the stencil will be in black, with the cursive lettering in gold. And I'll put it on a red painted canvas....probably won't get it done for this year--got too much on the list of things to do, but hopefully for next year...

Bad news...well, needs for prayer. Our house in North Carolina has still not sold, and I've not heard anything terribly recently. I've been praying it will be "finished" before the first part of December, but will you please add your prayers to mine? We need all we can get....

Secondly, two expectant mothers...one, at 18 weeks, had her water break/leak. This is her first child. Her doctor's office has put her on bedrest immediately--she'd gotten to 1 cm yesterday, but bedrest had gotten her back up to 3cm (thickness, not dilation, ladies--so 3cm is GREAT news). Her name is Katrina....

The second mother...oh, ladies, it breaks my heart. Her name is Alicia B. She is the mother of 10, pregnant with #11. She and her husband have been very faithful, and have left themselves open to the gift of life...

But this pregnancy comes with some very bad developments. While the baby is fine, Alicia has been diagnosed with a brain tumor. Very far advanced, unfortunately. It is one of those horrible choices--have the surgery/radiation treatments, and lose the baby, or have the baby, and quite likely, die. They have done some surgery, and removed a majority of the tumor, and a piece of her skull, to try and relieve some of the pressure...they couldn't remove all of the tumor, due to the location, and nature of it--there were fingers extending farther into her brain that they simply cannot remove. Alicia and her husband, have entrusted themselves into the mercy of God. The doctors--and of course Alicia--are trying to get the baby far enough along, that it can be delivered and be viable. That could be any time in the next few weeks.

PLEASE pray for Alicia, and her family and friends. All of her children at home, are young. Very. Pray for the baby, that it will not need too much longer in the womb, and that it will be born healthy and strong--may it surprise the doctors and all concerned. Pray for strength for Alicia, that she will be able to hold out long enough, and even, God willing, recover from this horrible circumstance.

I get updates sporadically, from a DIL of a friend of the family, so please, continue praying, even if you hear nothing from me about it. She is fighting hard, but any and all prayers and most especially wanted and needed...

I'll be posting again in a minute....but I wanted to get this done first...

I won a prize, a pretty pretty prize!!!

I get emailed "The Inspired Room" ...and a week ago, Melissa had a give away...multiple parts...one of the parts, a large, professional quality stencil, oh, here, take a look...

http://thesimplestencil.com/twocol/index.php?em=Faithful+friends+who+are+dear+to+us...etc.

I'll admit it, though, I'm boring, and getting it in black and more black. LOL. My walls are about the color of the ones in the photo, but since I'm not going to leave it up year round, and repainting after the holidays is not on my agenda, I'm planning to simply put it onto canvas, or perhaps sand and prime some good quality wood. But canvas would likely be cheaper and easier, lol. I'm planning on a deep red background (the same color as my kitchen, lol), and the black lettering will stand out nicely. :-)

It is the very first online 'contest' or giveaway that I have won, so I'm pretty peached! I even know just where I'll hang it...now, to explain to DH...LOL..."Yes, dear, even *more* Christmas decorations!" ....

I'll just have to promise pictures when I get it done.

Now, to find a great big canvas....

LOL

Also, some good news, an online friend of mine has finallllllly had her baby after weeks and weeks of 'false' labor. It was fast, thankfully, but A's wee little girl is here!! No name yet. But I'm so excited for her. It was a nice, peaceful homebirth, so I am glad that all went well. Many prayers for a beautiful babymoon, and a healthy recovery...I've got several other online friends who are ready to pop within the next month and a half...so I'm sure you'll see some more congratulatory "whoopeee!" on here...

Hopefully, you are having a beautiful Tuesday, and your Thanksgiving is coming together...

A ramble on preparing for Advent

Most folks right now, are preparing for Thanksgiving...thinking ahead to Christmas. Decorations and the requisite 'Holiday Aisle' have appeared in the stores...and the temptation is there... boy, is it ever...to succumb to the lure of the music and the decorations and the garland and ornaments and lights...

And yet...there is something far more important to consider...

Advent is not a time for settling in with cocoa and cookies and parties and dancing and fa-la-las. In fact, in the traditional Church, Advent is instead a time for penance...for reflection...for preparation for the coming of Christ...frequently overlooked--because we are so terribly surrounded by the commercialization of a holy-day...Lent is harder to ignore, since we're not as overwhelmed with the Easter Bunny as we are with Santa Claus and Rudolph. But the pre-Christmas period of penance and sacrifice...well, everyone else is going to the parties...everyone else is dancing and singing and shopping and giving gifts and so on and so forth...

I'll admit it--I'm prone to the early decorating, the singing of Christmas songs as early as possible. I don't decorate for most holidays (not on an individual basis, mind you)...but oh, I go whole-hog for Christmas...one year, I pulled the decorations out immediately after Thanksgiving dinner....yes. I was *that* bad. I think that was the Christmas of...1996, so it has been a while. :-)

While I still like to mail off Christmas cards the first day of December, I'm trying to make sure that my cards are not the typical "Ho Ho Ho Have a Happy New Year" tripe. I'm trying to use cards that focus on the import of the season (and I don't mean this year's "Tickle Me Elmo" or Furby or Cabbage Patch Kid). If nothing else, they might give someone a moment's pause...

But for me, I'm trying to make Advent a time of better preparation for the eternal...not just for a couple of days at the end of December. I do my Christmas shopping as far in advance as possible, so I'm not fighting traffic, or waiting on the FEDEx man to arrive...so I can focus more on what Advent--and Christmas--are really all about...

About a God who loved me so much, that He lowered Himself, to become not only Creator...but one of the created. To confine His infinity, within the limits of a finite, mortal being...

It is easy for us, most of us parents, to focus on the wee sweet Baby....or the heavily pregnant mother, traveling soooo far, so late in pregnancy, only to deliver far from home, in a stable, with little assistance of any kind...the shepherds in the field, for those of us who raise animals....we get so focused on making Him come to us, that we seem to forget what that entailed....and why...

That same, sweet, innocent Babe, only a fraction of an infinity later, was brutally sacrificed, for the sins of you, and I...for those who have come before us...for those who will come after us....as precious as our infants are, none of them will be able to do the same as that one Baby lying in a manger...none of us would be able to take away the sin of the world...no matter what we did. We cannot even absolve ourselves...how could we have borne it?

A slightly tangential bit to this post...on a message board I frequent, one poster has been discussing their Baptist church's push to "take God out of the box"...wow...well, in a way, I can understand what they are saying. But unfortunately, what many mean by that phrase is to remove scriptural backing, and remake Jesus in their own image. One person said that they could not imagine Jesus punishing any of us after death, that she couldn't imagine Him being angry or furious...and yet, in scripture it clearly talks about Jesus in the temple, tearing it up with a whip, for the righteous anger of having His Father's temple desecrated by the money-changers...Revelation (or the Apocalypse, for those Catholics among us) gives us another view of a Lord in battle...

And yet, this person said that because they couldn't imagine it, because it didn't fit inside their 'box' for Him, that He could not possibly be that way...there were more comments along the same line...They complain about Christ being in a box...So they take their image of Him out of one box, and shove Him into another...yeahhhhh....

And all the while, He must be rather sadly laughing at our rather pathetic attempts...to confine Him in anything. Because not only is He in the box, He is outside the box...shoot, He *is* the box. For all our attempts to make Him into a god of our making...we succeed in only setting ourselves up as demi-gods, as wee false "gods" with no power, only deluding ourselves with an illusion of what we think is real.

So what *is* real? Real is the blood, splattered down the back of the baby-grown-into-man...real is the sweat, and the splinters, from carrying the cross, under such pain and stress...real is knowing what lies ahead, and facing it anyway....real is forgiving those who sin against you, even as they are killing you slowly...real is the deep agonizing tear of the lash, cutting into you time and again...real is the torment, of the bone-crushing pound of the hammer, as it drives spikes into your hands and feet...the finger-length thorns, crowning your brow...the blood blending with sweat, pouring into your eyes, stinging doubly, triply, beyond bearing... And yet He trudged on. He carried that cross. He bore that burden that no solely mortal soul could bear.

We look upon the cradle, and forget to see the cross contained within the wood. We see the babe, and forget the man-to-come. We watch the shepherds, and forget the crowds that flocked to sing Hosanna to the king...and a week later, screamed for His crucifixion...we hear the angels singing on high...and forget those self-same angels will raise their swords to fight the battle at the end of time...banishing the foe to Hell for all eternity--and the souls who side with them, as well.

We would do well to remember these things, and think of them, as we prepare for Christmas. Take a moment to take Christ out of the boxes we have attempted to put Him...take ourselves down a peg and recognize our complicity in trying to make Him less than He is...and accept that the gift of His birth, came in two parts--within the birth, came the greatest gift, that of His death...

In truth, it is hard sometimes, for us to pull back from the commercialized images of the mother and her Son...to see beyond it to the ugly fact that because of US, because of our sins, because of our own freely made choices, this wee baby, this precious child, Our Lord and God, would DIE, an excruciatingly painful, agonizing death...sacrificed, because of US...those of us who are parents, know we would rather die ourselves, a thousand times, than for one of our children to suffer even a fraction of that borne by Our Lord and Savior...and yet, we continue in our patterns of self-serving behaviors, we fail to look beyond the here and now...and each of us, in our own way, by our own choice, pounds a nail...wields a whip, or pushes a thorn...over and again...

Should we prepare for the celebration of His birth with song, and dance, shopping, and parties, with nary an acknowledgement of our own part in His suffering and death? Or would we better served spending the time before the celebration of His birth here, getting ourselves into a better spot, spiritually, and seeking ways to really work on the sinful traits in our nature... those self-same traits that required His arrival here as the sacrificial Lamb?

There is time for celebration, most certainly, when the day is nigh and that season is upon us in full. But give proper time for spiritual preparation this Advent season. Do not neglect the gift that you can give to Him...a proper awareness of what His coming would eventually mean....

I'll be posting more about our family's Advent activities...but if you want to join us, look into an Advent wreath. They are a very traditional way to remember the season's importance, with scriptural readings, to go along with the lighting of the candles. They can be as simple, or as elaborate as you may prefer...everything from a simple green wreath, with the candles standing in the middle (three purple, one pink), or something more long-lasting, in metal, for taper candles..ours is pewter, in circle form...I just got some new beeswax candles (poured, not wrapped--I'm picky that way, lol), just for the occasion.

Here is a good link, discussing some of the history of Advent wreaths, as well as containing more links, and options of how to celebrate Advent...

http://catholicism.about.com/od/adventactivities/p/Advent_Wreath.htm

A quick google search for images of Advent wreaths, brought up some very traditional versions (evergreens in a circle), but there were also those candles in a straight line, like down the center of a dining room table, some pillar candles were gathered into a large earthenware bowl, surrounded by moss and rocks...

And in the meanwhile, be safe. There are crazed lunatics on the road, dashing hither and yon to gather their gifts while they may..and woe to any who get in their way...I pray you will remain whole and untouched by the unfortunate violence that tends to come around this time of year--and I suspect that this year, it will be worse than most. God bless and keep you, my friends...

Rejoice!

Not much else to say, but just rejoice with us that all is well for M and little one and the birth mother...

Thank you...

An urgent need for prayer in the coming day/weeks...

I have mentioned my new-found friend, M. A wonderful family, she has, and there is a project of theirs that is coming to fruition in the next few days/weeks (its a multiple part deal, you see). PLEASE pray tonight, as her husband is driving to her from the Great White Northern Hinterlands...things are coming to a head in the next day or so, in particular, and while he has to be apart from the family, working on the farm, he is *going* to be here now. Prayers for safety, for help in their labor, for the blessings of God upon them, in smoothing their way, would be *most* appreciated.

Thank you! I know M and her family have been feeling the prayers that have been sent up on their behalf, and are very grateful for all of the loving hearts that have aided them spiritually...

Evening

The first truly cold night of this fall/winter, and so, we have laid one of these....

We still need to lay in some more firewood...but a day like this just calls for a fire. We've got the blower going full bore, so we'll have a nice and toasty house soon, all without using the propane...nice....

Soup and fresh bread for dinner, the girls making chocolate chip cookies for an after-dinner 'snack', and the cold, windy world, on the other side of the door. Birds are bedded down, and dogs are fed...so no need to go outside, except to maybe grab another piece or two of wood for the fire before bed...

Hopefully, you are warm where-ever you are tonight...snug and secure with the ones you love...

The Etc Shop....Weatherford, Oklahoma

Okay. None of my pictures are really coming out well. Probably because natural light is so low today (low clouds, heavy cover...west end of the house...you know what I mean)...

The Etc Shop, in Weatherford, Oklahoma, is a nice little thrift shop, run by the local Mennonite congregation, for their missions overseas. Mostly staffed by older folks (meaning the over 50 set), it has a nice selection of adult clothing, a decent housewares department, and a smallish children's section...there's also a holiday room, with varying levels of holiday decor items (holiday being whatever is upcoming, usually), a book section, and a decent amount of shoes and purses. I'd say it is priced similarly to the local SA. Maybe a bit higher on some things, but it is still reasonable. It is located near downtown Weatherford, just a few streets away, in a nice little shop. No carts--so be prepared to carry your things around, although you can put them on the counter if you get too much to carry. The folks are very nice and not pushy at all. You'll find it to be a quiet little store.

I got a lovely striped afghan...cream lattice, with varigated fall color stripes in two shades of orange, brown, and green. The edges are scalloped, with the same varigated yarn...it is really a big square--a nice blanket to have tossed over the back of the couch or a chair, a good size for a lap blanket. And on a day like today, very nice to have around.

I found a wool blanket from England...it is probably a crib size, maybe a small lap size...cream colored, with a satin binding, by the Dormy company. Still has the sewn-on label...

Two wool sweaters--one dark green, a man sized 100% wool one...nice for DH if it fits (if it doesn't, then into the washer on HOT it goes...felt that baby and craft with it!...). The other one is the twin to one I got last year, a two-tone blue stripe, which is going to be felted and put into the wool box. I'm working on a patchwork of felted wool...make a nice big WARM blanket out of them, probably with a flannel backing. I'm actually thinking of batting the thing, but we'll have to see how that goes. Since the wool would already be shrunk, it would be safe in the washer/dryer, and so then I could be sure that the blanket/quilt wouldn't warp...hmmmm..I'll have to think on this some more...

I found a dark blue denim jumper that fits #2. She's quite happy to have it, since she's rarely the recipient of 'new' clothes...seems I can find things for everyone but her...

Two shirts for me...one a cotton/linen blend, in pretty stripes, that reminds me of my trip to the Caribbean....the other is a beautiful pale yellow, buttery, daffodilish. It will be nice to wear those this winter, especially in those long days in January and February, when I am desperate for something in a color other than a strong jewel-tone. Both three quarter sleeved buttondowns...very very nice.

A set of those lovely old percale sheets...white with yellow roses. Queen sized, flat and fitted. I've had better luck finding larger sizes, and sets, there.... I can frequently find the twin sized ones around here, it is those tricky larger sizes that are hard to find. Especially in fitted sheets...

I almost bought a couple of larger canister sized tins...old ones, too. But I had to remember, these things had to be hauled home, and our vehicle was crammed to the gills, and then some, lol....

If I can get the pictures looking good, then I'll take a few pictures of the things I got, so I can share with you...

I have a friend who loves penguins...these reminded me of her...and her family (a large one)....salt and pepper shakers...

I have no idea what these are for, except looking at...An angel fish made of lettuce? An onion kitty? Weenie dogs made of bananas? I think that the apple was a mouse...the owl made of apples?

Not to mention the rabbits made from carrots (and another lettuce angelfish)...

I love the frog. I have another friend who is a frog fan...lol...nothing like a frog made from a cucumber....

Penguins from an eggplant? Oh--and a corner of a cat made from watermelon... I love the "Not a toy, For Adult Use Only" tag. I don't know what an adult would do with them--look at them on a what not shelf? Put them on a windowsill? Dust them infrequently? Cute as they are, though, I decided against starting a new collection...lol...."Animals made from Vegetables". Sure I'm going to find plenty of new things to add to *that* collection...(I have a friend with a turreen--a bunny made from assorted garden veggies)...

Whew...There were a ton of other things I looooved. Some beautiful plates I thought would beautiful in S's kitchen. Some other dishes I thought would have looked lovely in another colorway (they were bird toile, squarish, on an offwhite or white background)...I wouldn't have minded them the way that they were, but it would have been nicer for my house, in a different color...sigh...

Next up, the thrift store loot....

Fall=soup

I don't know what it is about fall...the cool weather. The desire to stay indoors, snuggled under afghans and blankets...but something about fall weather really hitting, makes me want soup. Bowl after steaming bowl of hot soup...

Tomato. Vegetable Beef. Baked potato. Chicken and wild rice. Grilled cheese sandwiches with the tomato, crusty fresh artisan bread with the rest...slather it with butter...and tuck in...yuuuummmmmyyyy...

Lately, my favorite has been a Vegetable Beef that is really easy. I make it with my homemade (canned this summer) Country Vegetable Soup, but you could easily do it with a qt of V8 juice...

Basically, all it is about 3/4s-1lb of grd beef, browned with some onion and garlic, drained a little bit (we prefer ours with a little of the fat still left in the pan), and then added back to the pan. Pour in the soup (or V8, original kind!), and an equal amount of water/beef bouillon cubes, or beef stock. That's about 2 qts of liquid. Then I start adding my veggies...a can of green peas, green beans, diced tomatoes, carrots, corn, and then 4-5 smallish potatoes, peeled, and chopped into bite size pieces. And I get it to a low boil, and let it go. The bread can be done later in the day, shortly before dinner (if I've already gotten the dough made, it takes about a 20-30min second rise, and then into the oven it goes). Hot, fresh, and tasty.

So we've got soup on the brain. Deliciously warm soup. So the pot of soup I made last week before our trip, is now on the stovetop, heating up for lunch. We're still keeping the thermostat as low as possible, so the house is cool (we're fine--got the warm clothes on, and a warm breakfast in our bellies, lol), but a bit of warm soup in a few hours will hit the spot, I am sure. We are supposed to have a high in the mid-upper 40s today, not to mention the breeziness of it all, and so we're staying inside, nice and toasty in our tights and warm clothes...

Oh...if anyone is reading this, please send up a prayer for JoAnn of Creamer Chronicles. She burned her entire thumb something fierce this weekend (she has a pic up on her blog), and while I am sure that the pain has diminished somewhat, she is still going to have to heal, while working and running her home at the same time. Prayers for a speedy recovery would be appreciated, I am sure...

I'll be posting the pictures I have of my weekend away, as well as my thrift store finds, later today. Still getting all of them through the washer and dryer, and need to get the camera out, as well...

Hopefully, your week is off to a great start....now I am off to get the homeschooling going for the day...

A brief moment away...

Every now and again, I get a chance to visit with a very good, and long-term (I won't use the word OLD to describe her...she is far from old ;-) ) friend of mine. Her husband is an equally good friend of my husbands--they use to work together, many many years ago, back before El Husbando and I had children...

She is a wonderful woman...a real delight to be around. A number of years my senior (not using that dreaded "old" word, again! :-D ), she has enough world and life experience to really make one think. She's that most wonderful of friends, someone who shares enough interests to make things companionable, and yet has enough other experiences and hobbies and such, to really open up some doors I might otherwise not have opened...or at least, not when and how I did!

Even better, because there is this "oh so slight" difference in age, her children are older than mine. So she's been there, done that, got the tee shirt, as far as parenting goes...it is good for her to be able to share her "DO NOT DO THIS!" advice, with someone, before her own children get old enough to need it, for her grandchildren. LOL...I've had the pleasure of seeing her children, grow from being in their elementary school years, to graduating high school...

This weekend, I had the great opportunity to go and spend a few days in her company (of course, El Husbando and the children went along, too). It was...wonderful. Oh, it had its stresses (we had a host of other folks we knew arriving on Saturday for a potluck), so we had some cooking and cleaning to do, on top of the usual challenges of having five small children in a relatively new and unusual enviroment). But it was a wonderful weekend. One I very much needed. We went to a couple of the local thrift shops, had a wonderful (although far too brief!) lunch in a local coffeeshop (I LOVED MY SANDWICH!), and generally had a good time together. I've got a few pictures of things I spotted that really made me smile in one of the gift shops...some things I'd not seen before, other's I'd seen and thought of an online friend almost immediately...lol...I will hopefully get those posted tomorrow, but the camera is still packed up, I'm afraid, so you will just have to wait a little bit longer...

Having been separated by some pretty good distances, for most of the last ten years (we were in North Carolina, and they were in Alabama and then out here to Oklahoma, where they've been for several years), it has been sometimes fairly challenging, to be able to do things together. Which is why weekends like this one past, even where it seems we did little more than work (and there was plenty of that, lol!), there is so much to be treasured, just in being in her company. It isn't always easy, to keep a friendship going over long-distances, especially as busy as life has been for both she and I, over the last ten plus years. But somehow...well, we've managed to tolerate each other's foibles this long, and I hope for many many more years to come.

Being her friend, has been a wonderful part of my life. I can definitely say I'd not be the person I am, without the knowing of her. I am grateful that God has let her be "on loan" to me, in this way, as 'small' as it seems sometimes...as little as we have been able to see each other in years past...it is such a great gift from Him, to have friends such as these.

Dear friend, if you are reading this--you have no idea, how very special this weekend was. You thought I worked too much and didn't relax enough--but don't you realize, being around you, is the BEST vacation--even if I was scrubbing tables, doing dishes, and sweeping floors at midnight? It isn't a chore, when it is done with someone you love, and whose company you miss, so much of the time...so thank you, sweet S. Know you are prayed for, loved, and very very much treasured (I'd write this weekend down on *my* fan, if I had one! ;-) ).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For those of you reading this, if you have a friend you treasure, tell them. Even if you weren't blessed to spend the last few days with them, go right ahead. It might (will likely) make their day. It might make them realize how very highly you think of them, and the relationship between the two of you. Friendship is something, especially in these days of a highly mobile society, that should be treasured, sheltered, and protected. Good friends ARE somewhat hard to find, and harder to keep, it seems...our fast paced world puts a high price tag on speed, expediting "everything". There is little place for a quiet afternoon, sipping tea and a frozen coffee, with a friend, while you linger over your lunch as long as you can...we're always pressing on...never a dull moment...never a "still" moment. Going going going, from the time we hop out of bed in the morning.

But this social/cultural obsession with speed, does away with these long term, slow-growth friendships (almost sounds like a mutual fund, doesn't it? LOL). We're all for fast food, taking more classes to graduate early and "get out in the real world", hybridizing plants and animals that grow bigger, faster, and apparently, we think, better. Faster cars, faster planes, and letters that fly with the touch of a button (as opposed to snail mail's pace, taking a week or more, in some cases, to get from sender to recipient). We lost sight of just how precious such intimate relationships are, when we put everything into a pressure cooker...

This makes me think of a Mythbusters episode I saw, where they were trying to make diamonds, using a high-grade pressure cooker. It didn't work. It didn't change anything from the way it had started. They also tried a microwave (ditto), and a forge (again, the same result). Basically, the only way to get a real diamond is, well, the hard way. The long, slow, pondering way. It takes time. Lots of it. It takes care. Plenty of it. Sometimes, you put all that work and care, and time, and end up with sedimentary rock. Or petrified wood. Not a diamond. But sometimes...just occasionally...you put in the effort, and what you get, astounds the eye...the most brilliant of all gems, a big, beautiful, blindingly lovely...diamond...They have their flaws, just as our human relationships do. But beautiful they are indeed...

You can't shove people, and their relationships, into a pressure canner, and expect diamonds over night. You can't smelt down the basic ingredients, or blast with them with funky radio waves, either. Time, and pressure/challenges, a bit of heat to spice things up a bit every now and again...and you just might have a real diamond.

I've got a few gems in the jewelbox of friendships I am blessed to call "mine" ...And they are all as lovely, and yet as different, as can be. And I consider myself to be a very fortunate woman indeed, to have friends such as these...

For all of my friends, you know my prayers are with you and for you...I hope we get to see each other soon. I pray that until then, you are safe and well, and I either get a phone call, a letter, or an email, very very soon (hint hint, R in GA--if you are reading this, pen, paper, envelope! ;-) And don't forget the stamp! ).

For the rest of you, well, tell your friends you love them. Drop them a note. Call them (even better). Or best yet, show up on the doorstep with some chocolate. Or coffee. Or whatever their "pamper me item of choice" is. You know what I mean! Just don't let another day go by, without letting them know how much they mean to you.

I'll leave you now, with one thought. Don't leave those things unsaid. You never know what tomorrow brings. Take the time now, to let them know how very precious they are to you. (S, you'd better have read this! :-) ).

Friendship...

Friendship...it is such a valuable thing. I have friends I've known since I was in second grade...since sixth grade...since high school, since my early married life...some friends I have, I see once every three or four years...some I've actually not met in real life, being internet friends, scattered all over the globe, from Australia, to Ireland, from Arkansas to Washington DC to Pennsylvania. What is this thing we call friendship? For a woman, I believe it takes a different 'tone' than it does for a man.

Deep friendship...it isn't just the occasional "hi" and "how are you"...although greetings and genuine concern are a part of it..there is the calm easygoing living of life...a true friend, is one who doesn't mind when you mend socks as she talks. In fact, she probably grabs one and helps (or tries to, lol). When you go to her house, you might wipe down counters and tabletops while she is doing the dishes, chatting all the while. It is a sisterhood of a different sort... not biological, but something else entirely...a sisterhood of the soul.

And sometimes--rarely enough, especially when there are children involved!--you can just sit and 'be' together...you don't have to talk...although I know my friends and I usually do. You can disagree, gently, without the burden of feeling like you have to convince each other--because you are comfortable with each other, and your differences... you know you don't have to agree, because you have more history, more depth to the relationship, than a simple disagreement will destroy...

Being comfortable together is just part of friendship, of course...sometimes, it takes a while to get there. For some people though, it just "clicks". On rare occasions, there are friendships that hit deep fairly quickly, for whatever reason...sometimes, a person just comes into your life, and you take them in, fully, right away.

What makes that person different from the next? Who knows. There is a certain, unidentifiable 'something' that just falls right into place...I'm sure you know what I mean. You two may or may not be complete opposites in every possible way, but for some reason, the friendship just...works.

Over the last year or so, give/take a bit, I've had the pleasure to make the online acquaintance of a nice gentleman from the far north. We have a similar outlook and religious beliefs...we both homeschool our children, and both lean towards a more...agrarian...lifestyle. But while I had gotten to know this gentleman, I'd not had the pleasure to get to know his wife. Until this last week, when she journeyed close to my home. I had every reason to expect her to be some nice, genial person. A good mother, nice Catholic lady. But while I expected her to be nice, I had no really outstanding expectations...

But I had no idea, that she was going to be one of those certain people that once met, become an instant friend. And while I would be welcoming to a total stranger, it is all the more wonderful to be able to help a friend, even one just met. It is all the sweeter to find a new friend and be able to add something to their life, even if it is a small thing. A purely by chance 'meeting' online, of her husband, has led to making a new, and wonderful!, friend. And while they live far away from here (in what I would call the Great White Northern Hinterlands!), I know that I won't be the same for the simple friendship of this wonderful lady and her family. I count myself blessed to have been able to help them even a bit in their current endeavours, but even had I not been in a position to aid them, it would have been just as sweet to meet her, and make a new friend.

If any of you are reading this, please pray for M and her family, and their current project. They are really wonderful Christian folks, and I pray for all the best for them....

Not the prettiest leaf, but the contrast with the green next to it...it was this particular tree, that was colors I want in a fall afghan/blanket for my family room...

Ah, sweet Sheba. I actually managed to get a good photo of my girl. Very shy. Very sweet. And very protective.

Mel, standing guard, keeping close watch for, oh, anything with wheels. Apparently, they are his worst enemies. So far today he's chased our neighbor's car (in and out), the UPS truck (ditto), and the mail lady (another sweet neighbor)--just along the road.

We had some brief rainy weather early this afternoon, and the clouds afterwards were simply lovely. I didn't really get the contrast of the sunbeams through the clouds in the aftermath, but it was, but I tried. I do like to share...it is lovely out here. Cool, slightly breezy...we didn't get enough rain to make the driveway wet, even, just enough to dampen the air and the grass...but it was a nice change...I hope it changes back to the sunny fair weather we've been having...

Our bi-weekly visit from our friend from Tulsa won't be happening. He's gotten caught up at home, and won't get down our way til late. Too bad, but I understand. I'm glad I hadn't made dessert yet, when he called! :-) Drat. Forced to eat more dessert! LOL Not the best idea, what with my PCOS, but we'll work on that. :-)

There isn't too much else planned until later this week, but we're going to go visit friends Thursday, and will be relatively busy the rest of the week...so you won't likely hear from me until Sunday at the earliest (in looking at our schedule). Maybe, maybe not, but we'll see.

I do hope you are having a great day, regardless of what the weather is like where you are...

Help our wounded soldiers (and clear out some of those bits of yarn you have left!)

Here's an organization that is worth supporting, ladies (and gentlemen)...for the knitters and crocheters out there, use up those bits of yarn and warm the hearts of wounded soldiers, sailors, airmen, and marines...

http://www.rectangle6x9.org/

I know some ladies online who have participated in this, and find that it is only a matter of minutes, to really crank out one rectangle. One woman sat with her three daughters, while watching a video, and the four of them turned out 12 rectangles, in an hour and a half. With winter coming, and more "inside" time on our hands, now is a great time to show our servicemen our thanks for their sacrifices...

As the wife, daughter, and grand-daughter of veterans, I whole-heartedly support organizations like this, who get all of us involved. It doesn't take much time or money to get involved, and it is something nearly anyone can do while sitting in the car at ball practice, or in a recliner of an evening while the rain or snows fall outside.

God bless our troops...and their families...

I'm just tired of it...warning, political rant ahead

Boy, if it isn't one thing, its another this weekend. First the nonsense in DC. Who in the world do they think they are, pulling this stunt? I swear, if these jokers don't get voted out....mercy, I think some (all!) of them ought to be recalled this instant! Remind them who their bosses are! Buy a policy, or pay fines up to $250,000, and/or jail time up to 5 years? Oh, sure, that's just great. You'll be building much bigger jails, won't you Madame Speaker?

Christian faith calls for charity. I think I've just about run out for some of these folks. If I actually thought that they believed they were doing the right thing for the right reasons, then I'd have a little more charity than I do right now. But frankly, I want all of those power-mad, money grubbing, leaches on the brea$t of our American populace, shucked off, and thrown into the trash (like the aborted babies they see no problem in tossing out like someone's ruptured appendix). Let them be consigned to the dustbin of history! We the people need to recall these jokers, and remind them, they were hired by US, they can be FIRED by us! (what's the old line we parents use? "I brought you into this life, and I can take you out of it!"? That one!).

Where to start? I'm a stay at home mom to five, homeschooling three of these blessings (the other two are still getting rudimentary skills like "please don't hit your brother with the blocks!"), and trying to run this ship so it doesn't hit the rocks, financially. I cannot be going to DC, or even OKC, to speak to my elected officials. I call, I write letters, and now, I blog. But obviously, even showing up on their doorsteps, and saying "DON'T YOU DARE!" isn't enough to get their attention (ie, the protests in DC on Thursday, where our representatives were visisted by some of their constituents--some reports say up to 20, 000 people showed up on the steps of the Capital building, to make their opinions known). What else is left? Remove them from office!

Fortunately, none of my representatives were so assinine as to vote for this. Woe betide the fool that crosses me, right now. A righteous momma on the warpath? Get out of my way....cause I'm angry, and I'm hormonally challenged, and I'd really like SOMEONE's head on a plate. Let's start at the top of the food chain and work our way down, what do you say?!? Start some recall movements in CA, NY, and the like, and get these losers back under control. Spread the word to your friends, to your family. Find out what your representatives voted on this issue, and start raising a ruckus. Make them aware that you KNOW, that you are NOT happy, and you are willing to take action.

Now, onto more grievous news...

My heart aches, weeps, and bleeds for those suffering from this last week's terrorist attack at Ft Hood. Yes, I used the "t" word. Terrorist attack. "Benefit of the doubt"??? Ex-squeeze me? Baking powder? Did I hear you correctly?

Let's count the ways that this individual made their feelings known before the incidents on Thursday:
-made radical statements regarding the war, AS A MILITARY OFFICER, to fellow soliders, incl some fellow officers
-spoke to fellow muslims about this war, and how muslims shouldn't be killing muslims--it even concerned a local Muslim leader!
-made comments on message forums about how he supported the jihadist suicide bombers, and thought that they were heroes and the like...

Now, tell me...if someone came to you, and started making comments like this, etc, would you not turn them in? And yet some did...what happened? NOTHING. Oh, they 'looked into it'. But yet, did nothing. And so now, we have fourteen dead (let's not forget, one of the soldiers slain was a pregnant woman, so it not only killed her, but her unborn child as well). Not to mention the long term repercussions for those injured, the families and friends of those killed and wounded, and those folks who simply because they are in the military, are now going to be even more concerned than ever about their loved ones safety.

All in the name of political correctness (because after all, just because someone looks like a duck, smells like a duck, quacks like a duck, and waddles like a duck--well, it doesn't mean he's a duck. It just means he's...welll, maybe he is a duck, but we can't say anything about him being a duck because the other ducks might get offended!)....we now have 14 dead, and more than 30 injured. Because we couldn't say he's a Muslim who is sympathizing and agreeing with the terrorists, he's advocating these sorts of activities, and oh, btw, he has access to our troops! He *is* one! Gee. Maybe that should have been a big red flag to someone, somewhere, but apparently not.

Do I think that all Muslims are crazed suicide bombers in training? NO. Do I disagree with their religious beliefs? Most definitely. Do I think that we need to be screening our soldiers far more closely in the future? Absolutely. But are we going to, the next time some Muslim soldier starts mouthing off, either in public or private, sit back and let him have his opinion? Are we going to let it go, because after all, he's welcome to his beliefs? Or are we going to say "you know, maybe we ought to say something because this smells kind of hinky to me"?

I'm angry, that someone sending up so many red flags, was not removed from command (okay, he didn't really "command" much, but he should have been removed to a different facility)...not watched more closely...that someone wasn't aware that this man was capable of these sorts of things...and that now, there are so many lives lost, so many scars to carry, for so many broken hearts. May God have mercy on this man, because I certainly don't have it in me, right now. I don't believe he was mentally ill. I think he was guided by his theology. I believe that he was following his religious beliefs. And I think we need to remember that, when we're dealing with him in the judicial system--assuming he is ever able to stand trial, and doesn't spend the rest of his life a ward of the Army/state because of his being in a coma/vegetative state of some sort.

You see, I'm the wife of a recently retired NCO...Army. We were never stationed at Ft Hood. We had friends who were (thankfully, long since out of the Army). But I know the way the military works. I know that there are ties stretched all over this world, from one Army family to another. From friend to friend to friend. And so when folks in NYC think "Oh, its just a TX thing"...it isn't. It's hurting people in Korea...in Germany...in the Sinai..in Afghanistan...Iraq...in North Carolina, Kentucky, California, Georgia, Alabama, New York State...at every army post in CONUS, at every remote outpost in a desert outcropping in Afghanistan..some soldier, somewhere, weeps in his heart. Their families know, that "there, but for the grace of God, go I". It could have been any one of them. It could have been any other post. And they know it, all too well. So please, don't just pray for the families and friends immediately affected. Pray for all the armed forces spouses, friends, families. Pray for the souls of those men and women, who may not have taken the time to know, love, and serve God in this life of ours...that He may be merciful with them...and console their families and friends in this time of loss...

SIGH. I haven't been bringing my feelings on these sorts of issues on here, before, but I suspect that they will show up now and again. Simply voicing my concerns to El Husbando doesn't do much for either of us, so chances are, you'll hear something from me off and on...I'd lol, but honestly, my heart hurts too much right at the moment...and it'd be a bitter laugh indeed...

On to something a little lighter, but not really less deeply felt/thought upon...

I've touched on it, before, the need to support local businesses...especially the mom-and-pop type places that really keep small towns alive...that give them their 'flavor'...their character...I was thinking on it, this week...what places I can support with my money, just right here in my own little burg...

There's a local hairdresser/flower shop/real estate agency (hey, diversity, right? ;-) ). There's the pharmacy--go there already...the diner, check..there's one smaller locally owned/run gas station (not a big Exxon or BP or anything like that), got gas from there yesterday. The local IGA, check. There's the local PO, bought stamps and mailed a package there yesterday, too. There is a local carpet/flooring store, I'll need to check them out when we have the money to redo some of the floors around here. There is also the local Emergency Services--haven't needed them yet, and really hope to not to in the future...lol. There's a local car wash...a couple of small hole in the wall thrift stores--been in two of them, but not bought anything (would have, but they didn't have anything I wanted or needed, unfortunately).

In my previous small posting on this matter, Persuaded (that'd be Diane) commented on how in days before the huge mega-stores popped up, there were bustling downtown areas, where people shopped from store to store...instead of getting it all in one big blow out at your local AR based multi-national conglomerate. Now, really, I'm all for making it easier on myself. I do, after all, have to run errands with five small ones in tow, and frankly, anything that makes that easier, well, I certainly appreciate that time/energy savings. But I'd much rather keep my downtown area clean, neat, well-trafficked, and BUSY, by making a morning of "going to town", and meaning our little burg, not the big town where El Husbando works. Getting out the stroller is a hassle for one store, but when one has four or so to go to, well, that makes a difference. And really, the money savings (which I am all for, as you know if you've read much of this blog before) at the Mega Store is not all that significant, if one watches the local stores' sales fliers. For instance, the store brand 5 lb sack of sugar at our local Mega Store, is $3 a bag. This week, at our local IGA, 4lbs was $1.69. Now, admittedly, the local store had it on sale. But if I didn't go in there, I wouldn't know that, and would be dropping $3/bag for sugar in the big town, when it came time for Christmas baking/candy making. Not to mention, resupplying from this summer's pickle making! As it was, 80lbs of sugar would have cost me $48 at the Mega store. In our local store, simply by being in the store and finding out about the sale, I spent $33.80. Now, fifteen dollars may not seem like much. But that's another 2 wks of diapers around these parts, thank you very much. Or another couple of bags of chicken feed. AND it went to the local store's sales, not just another ticket at the mega store...

Yes, I know it takes time to go in to the little local stores instead of doing it all at once. But honestly, most of us pass by these little local stores when we are going about our business..we're just too busy to stop. We figure "oh, I'll get it all done at the mega store". It might save some time, but what does that do to the local economy? Does it build your town? Does it make your town the best town it can be, by spending your money elsewhere, in the next town over? Does it let you get to know those men and women working behind the scenes, to keep your little--or even not so little!--town running smoothly? Those kind of connections, of knowing when someone's feeling ill, or run down, or whose MIL is ill, or when someone's had a new grandbaby, or when someone's husband lost his job...well, its not gossip--its prayer material, folks. Its learning where *YOU* can help...Maybe you are making chicken soup, and take it to your neighbor who is sick and rundown. Maybe you send the MIL a card, or put her on your church's prayer list...maybe you have some handme downs that the new mother can use that would otherwise sit around...maybe you heard of a job opening, or have some work that can be done around your place...it may not be much, but if you don't know where the needs are, how can you help?

Most of ya'll reading this will be Christians of one stripe or another. We know we're called to be ONE body....THE body of Christ, not 'the bodIES of Christ'. We know we are called to help bear one another's afflictions, even if we can only offer them up in prayer and fasting/sacrifice. But first we have to *know* about these problems--or blessings!--before we can do anything about them. We can't help, if we don't know they are going on in the first place. And people aren't just going to spill their guts to a stranger. You have to build a relationship, over time. You have to go in to those stores, and meet those people. They need to get to know you, your children, your life. You need to start building these folks into the fabric of your life...and you, in turn, into theirs.

Talk used to be about safety nets, and how the government should take care of us...I disagree wholeheartedly that the government ought to be doing anything along that line. Charity (love) starts in the home. It starts in a one on one relationship. Love is not something handed out by the government. All they seem to hand out is lead weights. With strings attached. We have to build a safety net alright...but not by relying on some nanny-state intervention. No, we CANNOT do that. We must, then, build our safety nets small. And locally. By getting ourselves woven into the fabric of our community. By strengthening the bonds that hold each of our little burgs together...by spending our time, our money, our energy, not just "beautifying" by planting flowers (although that certainly helps!), but by investing our SELVES into the town. Into the people who live and work there. By showing that *we* think it is worth shopping in our towns, that we think it is worthwhile to spend our time making the extra stop...by talking with our neighbors and fellow citizens in the markets, in the drugstore, at the gas station and the diner...this is how we build a community that pulls together when times are tough.

I know that this is a long post. These thoughts have been rumbling through my head and heart lately, like a freight train, what with the economic woes, the on-going brouhaha in DC, and of course, the tragic events at Ft Hood, TX this last week. And I hope, on the one hand, that none of this has insulted anyone out there. I certainly don't meant to offend. However, these are my thoughts such as they are. I believe we MUST hold our elected officials responsible for this trampling of the Constitution...I believe we MUST hold terrorists accountable for their actions, whatever that may mean...I believe we MUST start rebuilding our economies, by buying locally. Rebuild the economy one little building block at a time...one little town, one county, one state...each of us doing our best, each of us doing our part...

Ironically, it is not the words of a conservative that come to mind right now, but rather the words of the (nearly-deified) Democrat President John F Kennedy..."Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country"...indeed, we need to make that an even smaller goal--what can do for your town? What can you do for your neighbor? Is it a prayer? Is it shopping in the local grocery store? Is it smiling and saying 'hello' to the woman next in line at the local gas station? Start small, think big! Think, think, think. Make your actions purposeful. Do what you can, where you can, when you can. And pray the rest of the time.

Cause goodness knows, we need it....

For now, folks, I'll leave off the rambling. You don't have to reply to this...unless you really want to (not that you would anyway, lol, but I digress). I hope that this gave you some food for thought. I hope that maybe somewhere, it echoes thoughts of your own, not down on 'paper'. Regardless, I hope that your weekend has been a blessed beginning to this next week, and that you start your week well prepared for what lies ahead.